The 49ers as Full House

Prior to the AFC Championship, I compared the Baltimore Ravens players and coaches to characters on The Wire. My original intentions was to compare the winner of the NFC Championship to characters on a show or movie that took place in that city, if the Patriots won. Unfortunately, the Patriots lost. Despite this, I've decided to go ahead with the San Francisco 49ers as characters on Full House.

Keep in mind, I haven't watched Full House in ages, so the comparisons might be pretty terrible. This whole concept is terrible though, so it's okay.

Jim Harbaugh is the leader of the 49ers. He's the brick and mortar guy who has changed the whole attitude of the team. He is the backbone of the franchise, providing the team with a mentality to succeed. He's also quirky, which is reflected in his odd sideline reactions.

H/T SBNation

Much like Harbaugh, Danny Tanner is the backbone of Full House. He is quirky in that he is OCD about cleanliness.

Colin Kaepernick is the new kid on the block. A lot has been made about Kaepernick's emergence. He's given the Niners a new edge. He is the Michelle Tanner of the Niners. He is the "you got it dude" player that the Niners' offense lacked.

With the Niners now running the pistol and zone read concepts, the offense has taken off and so has Kaepernick's stardom. Michelle Tanner was the cute character that spurred the Olson twins to stardom.

Alex Smith lost his job when he suffered a concussion. Deciding the starting quarterback was a difficult decision for Harbaugh to make. Now, Alex Smith is sad:

With all due seriousness, he's been a consumate professional, but he's had a troubled career. You can tell he's not happy about sitting on the sidelines too. In many ways, Smith is the Stephanie Tanner of the group. Smith hasn't had the smoothest career, especially for a number one draft pick. Stephanie struggled with a lot of things too such as drugs, partying, joy riding, and child abuse. She also struggled to deal with all the attention the new kid, Michelle, got. Smith is clearly struggling as well. 

Frank Gore is the work horse of the offense. He is good to carry the ball as many times as you need and he's the guy people can rely on. In many ways, Frank Gore is the D.J. Tanner of the Niners. DJ isn't really the face of the show, but she's a solid character that cares about others. Gore, having spent so much time in SF, seems to be that type of guy for the 49ers. 

LaMichael James is a talent that brings that strange x-factor that nobody else brings to the team. He can return kicks, he can run out of the backfield, he can catch balls. He can do it all. He is a unique talent. He is also the running mate of Frank Gore. In that way, he's sort of the Kimmy Gibbler of the team. Say what you will about Kimmy, but she is unique. LaMichael James is a special player.

I could watch Vernon Davis play forever. Everything about his game is elegant and smooth. He can run like the wind. He's got terrific hands. He's a solid blocker. Many football fans would see him to be the perfect tight end. He hasn't always had it easy though. 

It is in this way that I see him as the Uncle Jesse of the Niners. Uncle Jesse was a high school dropout that becomes a success, running his own club and playing in his own band. Oh yeah, John Stamos has perfect hair too. 

Patrick Willis is the best linebacker in the game. He makes tackles. He drops in coverage. He makes plays. In that way, I see him as the Uncle Joey of the 49ers. Let's be honest, Joey is the funniest guy on Full House and the show is a sitcom. What Joey provides to Full House, Willis provides to the 49ers in the form of leadership, physicality, and play-making abilities. 

Clearly, not the same person.

I confuse Justin and Aldon Smith all the time. There's nothing really to mistake. They don't play the same position. Justin is a defensive end and Aldon is a linebacker. They do not have the same colored skin. Justin is white and Aldon is black. However, beyond Willis, they are the two most talked about players on that 49ers defense. My personal confusion leads me to say that they are the twins, Nicky and Alex. 

Greg Roman has been the mastermind of the 49ers offense. The Niners offense is unique. It's traditional and it's new school at the same time. Roman, in his capacity as offensive coordinator, works with Jim Harbaugh, keeping the distinctly physical nature of football that Harbaugh wants to play. Furthermore, he works with the offense, getting the most out of Vernon Davis, Frank Gore, LaMichael James, and Colin Kaepernick. In this way, I see him as the Rebecca Donaldson. Rebecca works with Danny on talk show, which takes care of the Roman-Harbaugh relationship. She is also the solid female lead, providing a shoulder to lean on and someone to relate to for DJ, Stephanie, and Michelle. Lastly, she is married to Uncle Jesse. They bring the best out of each other. Watching the NFC Championship game, Greg Roman got the most out of Vernon Davis. Greg Roman is Rebecca Donaldson. 

So there you have it. We have it. It's The Wire vs Full House for all the glory. We'll find out who wins on Sunday.